Getting Old as a Child

As I approach the last month of being 55 years old, I have started to ponder many things.

When I was younger, I looked at old people. From my young heart, “oldness” was their identity. Like “young-ness” was my assumed identity. Like, they were born old. And I will be young forever. Yes, we all get old. I could say it back then too; however, I only knew it conceptually. I didn’t feel it, not like the way I could feel living in another country, away from my birth country, while I still lived in China.

Then I turned 50. I felt quite normal, nothing special. It was like a continuation of my forties. When I turned 55, many new thoughts started to come to my mind, and to my amazement, according to the local Vancouver West End/Barclay Manor Recreation Guide, I’d be qualified to visit their Senior’s House.

I’m still working full-time. I would not have time to be a regular guest at the Senior’s House. But I started to be very curious. Internally, I had this child-like feeling of curiosity: What’s it like to begin the process of getting old? After all, it’s the very first time, for an entire year, that I am 55 years old!

Then suddenly I realized, that for those “born old” people I used to look at, it would be their first time to be 72, 85, 93 too. Therefore, they could still adopt that child-like curiosity of being there for the first time.

This is so fun now, to get old.

What about those people who just got married? Mostly it’s the first time they get married. They are “children” too! What about those who just gave birth to a newborn? They were never a parent until the baby was born, therefore the identity of a parent was born, therefore a parent is also child-like, in the sense of a fresh new experience.

Life does have never-ending new experiences for us. What a privilege!

Every turn we turn, every step we take, we are that child, who’s experiencing something the first time. I will grow older and older, but I’m still that same child, who can excitedly see and say, “I have never been in this age before!”

No, I don’t want to be young again. I understand many physical benefits. However, when I have fully lived every day and every age, I just can’t help but want to see what’s next, like a child.

After all, I am the youngest that I am ever going to be.