Some think being authentic is not telling lies, being good, doing the right things, the good things – the good-girl, good-boy syndrome. We have been programmed to think in those terms. But where does that concept of being a good girl, being a good boy really come from? It may just come from other people who want to keep you in line, who want to keep you doing what they want you to do. It has nothing to do with being authentic. It has something to do with control. It gets ingrained in us over and over again in the early years.
In my childhood, I dreamed that when I grew up, I would marry a train conductor, so I could, in my imagination, travel for free! I shared this dream with my sister and a close friend. The friend said she had a feeling, that in the future more people would be flying to travel. I should aim higher – literally, to become a pilot’s wife rather than a train conductor’s.
Without trying to hypnotize you, I’d like you to stare into the graphic art for a minute or two.
Maybe lots of circles, maybe a depth, maybe confusing, maybe fractured, maybe patterns, or even motion…
It’s a natural thing when you look into such an image and begin to see movement. The brain doesn’t know how to read all the patterns that have been specifically designed, so it starts seeing motions, and many times a motion will draw you into it. Sometimes it’ll feel like it’s coming at you.
How many times do you click on a video link and find your own name being sung into a beautifully made song?
Well, it happened to me once. It was a surprise to find my name in a catchy, fun, and upbeat song, produced by bthemothion. The singer-songwriter Ian knows how to sum me up with that line.
Many people I come across understand that many of their issues—whether emotional, mental, behavioural, and perhaps even physical—can come down to a lack of self-confidence. Heather, my new client had just come to see me about her body-image and perceived difficulty in dating when I mentioned she may just lack a little confidence.
“Yes, I know that!” she exclaimed. And then she looked at me innocently, as if she was asking me, “Now what can you do Kemila to bring some confidence to me, through the magic you know that’s called hypnosis?”
There were many times in my sessions I felt at loss. Things didn’t go as I intended, or they didn’t go as my clients expected. There were many times a session twisted itself and I found myself delivering in a very different manner from what we anticipated. And then there were times a session became so fluid that I started to wonder where this was going to go.
One day, my 13-and-half-year-old client asked me, “Why does one unwanted thought stick in my head for long? Other good thoughts don’t?”
I found that a very genuine authentic observation, actually a very wise question. I had to think for a moment. And I answered him that the unreal thoughts have to be louder and stickier, to work harder to appear it’s real. What is real doesn’t have to be loud, because it is already real – that we hear it or not doesn’t change its reality.
It was such an ease to work with Victor. Some people have that aura. I felt it when we had a Skype consultation, where he told me what he was at crossroads. He’d had a successful career over the last twenty years making video games. But there was constant stress to meet aggressive deadlines, and he would work very intensively for stretches of time, only to be laid off when the projects were over.
This time, he started to hesitate. Should he go back to making games? He knew he could easily do so, although he had begun finding the work itself less fulfilling. Or should he do something new?