Some think being authentic is not telling lies, being good, doing the right things, the good things – the good-girl, good-boy syndrome. We have been programmed to think in those terms. But where does that concept of being a good girl, being a good boy really come from? It may just come from other people who want to keep you in line, who want to keep you doing what they want you to do. It has nothing to do with being authentic. It has something to do with control. It gets ingrained in us over and over again in the early years.
In my childhood, I dreamed that when I grew up, I would marry a train conductor, so I could, in my imagination, travel for free! I shared this dream with my sister and a close friend. The friend said she had a feeling, that in the future more people would be flying to travel. I should aim higher – literally, to become a pilot’s wife rather than a train conductor’s.
One day, my 13-and-half-year-old client asked me, “Why does one unwanted thought stick in my head for long? Other good thoughts don’t?”
I found that a very genuine authentic observation, actually a very wise question. I had to think for a moment. And I answered him that the unreal thoughts have to be louder and stickier, to work harder to appear it’s real. What is real doesn’t have to be loud, because it is already real – that we hear it or not doesn’t change its reality.
Brenda’s Teardrop is her ego. The ego is the mind-made entity that consists of a bundle of thoughts that occur frequently. In the bundle of thoughts are all the things that we’ve identified with ourselves – job positions, relationships, accomplishments, disappointments, our successes and failures, what other people think of us, all those thoughts form in the mind. They come together and congregate in a bundle. These congregated bundles of recurring thoughts become the place where we derive our sense of self. It is a story-based entity – The Me and my story. And the story is called “My Life”. My life becomes a mental construct. The way we interpret memories.