Brenda’s Teardrop is her ego. The ego is the mind-made entity that consists of a bundle of thoughts that occur frequently. In the bundle of thoughts are all the things that we’ve identified with ourselves – job positions, relationships, accomplishments, disappointments, our successes and failures, what other people think of us, all those thoughts form in the mind. They come together and congregate in a bundle. These congregated bundles of recurring thoughts become the place where we derive our sense of self. It is a story-based entity – The Me and my story. And the story is called “My Life”. My life becomes a mental construct. The way we interpret memories.
I had a Skype session with a client during my travels in Venice Italy. It took me some extra time to get everything ready as connecting to the Internet didn’t go smoothly. I was six minutes late for the online appointment.
But finally I was on. I was glad. And my client seemed to be relieved too. So I said sorry, I didn’t mean to be late. I was about to tell her about the hard time that I had sorting out the wi-fi connection in Italian.
This is probably going to be the shortest blog I’ve posted, because, well, the title speaks for itself.
While I’m feeling “Baby, it’s warm inside”, I sometimes experience a little chill with my clients, when they are afraid to move forward because they feel guilty about something within themselves.
They feel that they need to feel guilty to keep themselves in check, as if “If I don’t feel guilt, I may run a mock.”
I’m a therapist, I’m not a philosopher. The wellbeing of each individual, especially those who make their way to my practice, is what I care about. So here we go with this wonderful, seeming noble idea of guilt:
Wanda told me she felt blocked and therefore stuck in life, even though she has multiple talents and interests. She has done a lot of inner work, including some “spiritual work deep into the self”, where she found some emotional triggers. She went to see a counsellor who used the emotional triggers to attempt to take her back in time…
That was when Wanda “hit a wall” – “I couldn’t get any further. I couldn’t get past the wall.” She told me.
A wall! “How do you know there was a wall?” I asked Wanda. My alarm went off. If there were nothing to hide, disallow, shame, or protect, there wouldn’t be any need for a wall.
“The reason I choose hypnotherapy is that they say a lot of limiting beliefs, and low self-esteem, are because when I grew up, my parents put the stuff such as ‘I am not good enough’ to my head, and hypnotherapy can take them out of my head.”
“Yes. Hypnotherapy can take them out of your head, sometimes easily, as long as you have not taken an identity out of ‘the stuff’.”
Is there a difference between darkness and evil?
Without doing their own thinking, many people would not even hesitate a second and say, “It’s the same.”
Treating darkness and evil the same is the source of a lot of our problems, mental, emotional, spiritual, even physical.
Mentally, when we treat them the same, we immediately get into the dualistic energy, and we become judgemental. We all say it’s not good to judge – but “it’s not good to judge” itself is a judgement, yet we cannot help but judge, to a degree that I hear a lot from my hypnotherapy clients, “Well, everyone judges. We can’t help it, even though it’s not good.”
That statement doesn’t have to be true. We only judge when we lose the balance of light and dark.
So, is there a difference between darkness and evil?
I say, “Yes.”
A theoretical happiness is a true expression of guilt. Guilt is the worst emotions we humans can have. It is so artificial that you cannot find it in nature. Anger, sadness, nervousness are more natural emotions, but guilt is a cover-up emotion. When the natural emotions are not allowed, we use a worse emotion to cover it up. That’s why even “success” and “happiness” can burden a person. Ridiculous, isn’t it?
There is no dark secret in your subconscious mind. There is no dirty disgusting thought in your deep mind. There is no shame there. There is no boredom there.
Your secrets might be common human wounds. Your darkest thoughts might be common human misunderstandings. Your boredom might be common human need for love. Fragmented mind is not who you are. The wholeness is what we want, and what we already are. To be it, it helps that we have all aspects of the mind on board, and love can be easily expressed.
The first step is always the willingness to look at it as it is, honestly.
It is amazing how people feel consciously responsible for stuff that is actually generated by their unconscious mind. The embarrassment is the conscious mind trying to feel it needs to control the situation when the situation is caused unconsciously which means they cannot control the way conscious mind thinks. For example, I can have much more conscious control over whether I speak rudely to someone, of which means I can take the responsibility, than whether I blush or hiccup or blink, which I can’t be responsible for.