Turn Obstacles into Opportunities
In my observations, many of my clients’ problems come from habitual comparisons—comparing themselves to others and feeling lesser about themselves. In such comparisons, they find things wrong with themselves, so they conclude that they are not good, or whatever, enough.
How can one have happiness, fulfilment and basically a satisfying life if you go about your day believing that you are not even good… enough?
You have to be good enough to be you, because nobody else, obviously, is better than the one that you are, at being you.
We are all on our own journeys. If I arrive at a restaurant hungry and you have just finished the meal feeling satisfied, does it make you better than I, nobler than I, or even more satisfied than I? If not, why do most people want to be younger not older?
My Voice in Hypnotherapy
When I was 15, there was an opportunity arriving at our school – one candidate to participate in a provincial meteorological summer camp. All our school had to do was select that candidate. I knew I wanted the opportunity very badly. Our school did its selection process. Eventually, the school chose a tall, pretty girl who was very good at both singing and dancing. I understood. I was disappointed, but okay, that the school did not consider me more representative than that outstanding girl for the summer camp.
However, one day, the teacher in charge pulled me aside and told me something about that girl’s parents’ background, which made that representable girl disqualified (well, it was Communist China, after all.) They made some changes. Or maybe it was my strong desire that caused the shift. Anyway, as a result, I got to go to the summer camp. You can imagine that I was the happiest person in the world.
There was this camp team song for me to learn before I could go. I was sent to the music teacher for a private session. I remember the teacher, sitting by his piano, was trying so hard to teach me, again and again. He said that I couldn’t get the notes right. It was quite discouraging as I was trying so hard and loud. I thought I was singing pretty well, but the teacher was shaking his head in frustration.
Although I did end up going to the summer camp, through that experience, I officially learned that I could not sing.
It was not until many years later, when I had started my career in hypnotherapy, recorded many sessions, and published many CDs and MP3 tracks, that I started to get used to the sound of my own voice and noticed the nature of my voice is quite monotonic. I guess what made me a bad singer made me a great candidate for hypnotherapy.
Maybe I am not good enough to be a singer, but that doesn’t mean my voice is not good enough. I have a wonderful voice that does wonderful things and serves its wonderful purposes.
English as a Second Language
One day, I received a phone call from a middle-aged man interested in hypnotherapy. We had a phone consultation. The conversation went well, and he seemed pleased with my answers to his questions. Towards the end, he asked me where my accent came from. I told him I grew up in China. He showed a little concern about English not being my first language. The question he asked was, “How confident are you?”
As if I hadn’t already hypnotized thousands of people through the years. I told him I had full confidence in my work. In addition, I shared with him one of my observations: Our unconscious mind speaks very differently from the conscious mind. For example, the unconscious mind takes everything literally. It doesn’t process negative expressions the way the conscious mind does.
English is my second language; therefore, I don’t take this language and its expressions for granted. I have a natural tendency to take everything literally, which has given me tremendous advantages in speaking the language of people’s unconscious minds.
For example, when I hear people ask, “So, what brought you here?” my mind naturally goes, “My feet.”
In an equally confident tone, the man made an appointment with me.
Actually, now that I think about it, I LOVE speaking other people’s languages. The other day, a fashion designer called me to ask how the hypnotherapy process works. I told her that even though, generally speaking, this or that could happen in a session, there was no set process. And I added, “I normally tailor-make the sessions for people.”
She was sold.
Young Shepherd David
It was in the Bible, the story of a shepherd boy David. When all the big men in the kingdom went to fight with the heavily armed Philistine giant Goliath and failed, David went to defeat him with nothing else but a sling and stones.
Shocked, the men in the kingdom asked him, “How did you do that? The giant was so big!”
Little David answered, “How can I miss it? He was so big!”
You can call it faith. I call it the art of the obvious. Everything is good enough for something. Everyone is good enough for someone.
Maybe the only thing that’s not good enough is the act of comparison, which cuts off the flow of life, therefore doesn’t honour life and its natural course.
You don’t have to change who you are to fit in. Find the purpose (or invent one) for you to be you, so that you can live from that purpose and embrace yourself.
Suppose disappointment without anger is the mark of an old soul, and not being disappointed is the mark of a really old soul. In that case, living your own life purpose and trusting your own life so thoroughly that every step on its path is valued more than where it is “supposed to take you”, must be the mark of an eternal young soul.
I’d rather be that.
