A Secret Beach
– When in Doubt, Choose Love
On Tomoko’s way out, I mentioned to her, “As you know, since you found me online, I sometimes write about my cases on my blog, when I have time to do so. I feel your story is write-worthy. Do I have your permission to write about your story? There won’t be…”
“Yes yes yes, of course.” Tomoko didn’t let me finish. I meant to say, “There won’t be any identifiable information on my blog.”
She went on, “You can write anything about it. Actually, I will write about it myself!”
It was this level of the eagerness with which Tomoko first impressed me, before I met her. She booked the Past Life Regression session online, and in the “Note to Kemila” section, she wrote: “This is my very first time doing Past Life Regression. I am both excited and nervous!”
Excitement and nervousness are just the same energies that filter through different beliefs within us. And I work very well with that energy. So it wasn’t an understatement to say that I was looking forward to meeting Tomoko.
When Tomoko showed up, she brought that eagerness and warmth with her. From her name, it was not hard to locate her nationality as a Japanese. She is a young lady with a hairstyle that is partially long, partially short, and partially shaved. Colour-wise, it was partially blue, partially purple, partially yellow and partially pink.
The purpose to have a past life regression experience, the 31-year-old Tomoko told me, was to explore why it was difficult for her to open up in a relationship. “It all starts very well… Oh by the way, I am bi-sexual, so I date both men and women.” Tomoko explained, “It’s always great at the beginning. But then when it’s time to open up, when it’s time to be vulnerable, all of a sudden, I shut them out. I give them the cold shoulder.”
“So it’s a pattern that you noticed?” I asked.
“Yes, it’s a pattern.”
“Different people, different genders, the same pattern, you mean?”
“Yes. Different people and genders, exactly the same pattern.”
“What’s the feeling when it happens… shutting people out?”
“I feel very sad, sorrow, scared, and hesitant.”
In my 2015 book Past Life Regression – A Manuel for Hypnotherapists to Conduct Effective Past Life Regression Sessions I mentioned about how sometimes a client would have a presenting issue – In the case of Tomoko, difficulty in opening up and a pattern of shutting people out in relationships; and then they have a self-directed treatment plan – In this case, a past life regression.
Sometimes, though, a person may present a problem, and self-diagnose that the problem originated in a past life. Be cautious in this case. You can tell them that the problem may or may not have originated from a past life, but that together you can find out. Give them the option of starting by exploring a past life, which may possibly be the cause of their problem; or by focusing directly on the cause of their problem, which may also lead to a past life. Be clear with the person that their choice may influence what they get from the session. This way, client and therapist can make an informed decision together.
However, I felt that a past life regression in Tomoko’s case may be just the solution she needed. At that moment, I knew there were many ways we could get into a past life regression. Tomoko would prove to be an easy subject, even though she didn’t know it as she was saying to me, “I haven’t had any deja-vu. I didn’t have any childhood past life memory. I’m not sure about what I believe. I’m just exploring.”
On the intake form, in the line of “Religion”, Tomoko wrote: “Spiritual? (Just exploring)”
“So, which is more important? Finding out the cause for those emotions of sadness, sorrow, feeling scared and hesitant, or having a past life regression? We may or may not land in the same place.”
“Let’s have past life regression. It’s okay if we don’t find out the reason for shutting people out.” With that, Tomoko went on stretching out her legs on the couch as her body started to get itself ready.
As with many past-life-regression first timers, I started softly with Tomoko. I had her unconscious mind take us, first, to a favourite place that was safe for her. “It can be anywhere inside, or anywhere outside; any real place that you have been, and any real place that you want to go, or an imagined place with all your favourite items there…”
Tomoko nodded her head to indicate that a place had come up to her awareness.
“Out of curiosity,” I continued, “Is it inside, or is it outside?”
“It’s outside.” Tomoko, being already in a trance, spoke softly in a very low volume.
“Yes, it’s outside. Tell me, what’s there?”
“It’s a beach.”
“Yes, it’s a beach.” I repeated. This is very important for revivification, to echo back to my client.
“It’s not just a beach. It’s… It’s the secret beach I visited when I was a kid, with my father and my uncle!”
I was not sure about what was secretive about it, but as usual, I went with it, and had Tomoko immerse herself in the environment, opening up all her senses, to build confidence in her ability for a past life regression experience.
If I were to write the Manuel of Past Life Regression book today, I’d probably simplify it quite a bit. In a past life regression session, I don’t do any formal induction anymore. The comfortable “favourite” place is always perfect for launching into a past life regression.
But maybe it’s just like many skills; I wouldn’t be able to start, when I was new in this profession, without a formal induction. It seems when we master something, that which we have mastered then becomes very easy and “simple”.
After Tomoko showed obvious emersion, I had her open her eyes, so I could see her eyes for signs of trance.
And I asked, “That was very easy, wasn’t it?”
“Yes. I could see very clearly where I was.”
So I noted that Tomoko was very visually oriented.
“Did that feel good being there?” I asked again.
“Yes, very good… It was actually a beach that I went to in Japan when I was a kid. I almost forgot it.”
When people say that they “almost forgot” (consciously), I knew that it was a gift from the unconscious mind.
And I knew I was going to utilize it. “I just want you to know that the so-called past life regression experience, is actually no different from this experience. How you’ll perceive is exactly the same way. You’ll be able to see, to feel, to know in the moment, the same way you saw, felt and knew a moment ago. It’ll be just another time, another place, living in another body, in another life, but how you experience it will be the same.”
Tomoko nodded her head in complete acceptance. I continued, “Since it feels so good in that secret beach. Let’s go back to it again, and let’s take it a little further this time. Something is there that you will find that you didn’t notice before, or maybe you overlooked it. But this time you’ll be able to see it clearly.”
On that cue, Tomoko slowly closed her eyes.
I slowed down, “Yes… Just walk around, and look… Something new… What’s there?” I wondered what would come up, or whether anything would come up.
“There is a cave.”
I had no idea if the cave was literally there on that “secret beach”, or it was metaphorically there as I mentioned to Tomoko’s subconscious mind that the secret beach would be the launching point for our time travel journey. But I knew I would go with that flow.
“Yes. There’s the cave there. The entrance, is it big or small?”
“Now as you stand in front of the cave, you look into it. Can you see it inside?”
“No, it’s dark.”
“Yes. It’s dark. How do you feel about the cave?”
“I feel scared, but I do want to look inside.”
Just like being in a relationship, I thought, scared to go further, but curious to look.
I had Tomoko manifest a flashlight in her hand and indicated for her to go inside with it. In the other hand, she manifested a stick, so it could protect her when she needed, and it could help to stabilize her.
I felt it was time to let her go to a past life now. So the cave became a portal, a doorway into that past. I took her slowly further into the cave, and connected the inside of the cave with her innermost vulnerability in terms of her relationship. “As you know when a relationship has developed to a certain degree, all of a sudden you start to feel sad, you feel sorrow, you feel scared, and hesitant. It’s a similar feeling as you allow yourself to enter this cave. As you connect with those emotions, still moving into the cave. In a moment, when I count from 5 to 1, but only when I reach the number 1, the cave will take you into another scene, another time, maybe another life, that has everything to do with those emotions. Yes, you have a question, and this cave holds an answer. It will take you to where you need to go today to locate the answer.”
As I counted, Tomoko easily went into a scene. She couldn’t help but laugh a little laugh, because she landed on a … beach!
On that beach, Tomoko said she was a male named Andrea. It felt like Roman times. Andrea was on the beach with Ore, another male and his lover.
Andrea is in his mid 30’s, and Ore in his late 20’s. They met each other in their teens and ever since, they secretively saw each other on a “secret beach” (Maybe Tomoko’s father and uncle took little Tomoko to that beach. She liked it so much and called it the secret beach, because there was this love memory deeply in her?). Andrea serves in an army, being the second commander. Ore is an artist. On the beach, Andrea is holding hands with Ore, feeling playful, and full of love. However, he is torn apart, as his “captain” is arranging for him to marry the Captain’s sister.
Ore begs him not to. He says they can escape to an island where he has family.
Andrea sees it differently. “Ore doesn’t understand my responsibility. I can’t betray my country.” Besides that, Andrea was fearful, “Someone is going to find out and the captain may kill us both.”
So Andrea decided that it’s time for them not to see each other anymore. “But I hate this decision. I love him so much.” Tears came down Tomoko’s face.
Andrea married his Captain’s sister. He had two children. Twenty years past. Andrea kept his duty and responsibility. He felt miserable, very unhappy. He thought of Ore everyday.
“Scan into your future from this moment on. Do you ever get to see him again?”
After a pause, “It’s hard to tell. I think I saw him in a crowd once. It was a few seconds. Then I lost him. Or maybe it was not him, but I thought it was…” Tomoko’s voice faded.
Andrea’s last day found him back to the beach, with a cane, in his 80’s. It was 50 years since he and Ore were here together. He felt very sad, and he was upset at himself for leaving Ore.
That was how Tomoko was afraid to fall in love. As they say, love hurts, so much.
To change it for Tomoko in this life, I knew I had an opportunity to change that past life.
In a past life regression, when we can see the alternative, and let what I call “parallel life” play out, we regain the power of choice.
And this time, Andrea is going to choose love.
“So right here on the same beach, Andrea, looking back many decades ago, knowing what you now know in your 80’s, if you could do it again, on the same beach, 50 years ago, would you choose differently?”
“Because 50 years ago, you didn’t know better. You thought ‘responsibility’ was something more important. But now you know better. How differently would you choose?”
“I would just, I don’t know if I could, but I’d just quit my job, and go off with him.”
“To the island where Ore’s family is?”
“That would be a risk to take, wouldn’t it?”
“So tell me, Andrea, why is it worth taking such a risk?”
“I feel Ore is my soul-mate.”
I decided to let the soul guide us and play it out. A different memory needed to be reactivated for this life to be different.
I asked Andrea if he could find any spot, on that beach, to rest. Andrea said there was that tree he could sit down under.
“So you sit down, and you rest the body, feeling relaxed under the tree. The same place, different time. And you start to wonder, sitting there under the tree, if time can rewind itself… in your vision now, the same beach… if you could do it again… and somehow you step into that bubble of a new reality. As if stepping into that bubble on the same beach, you are in your 30’s again. And Ore’s is in his twenties. You are there talking about your future. And you share with him that the Captain is arranging a marriage with you to his sister. And you do feel the responsibility for this country. You hate this choice, but you feel you have to make it. Ore is begging you to run with him to that island where he has his family. And he’s telling you that it’s not that he doesn’t understand your responsibilities, but you know you can only be responsible when you are in this position.” I decided to use what Andrea said earlier, “If you quit your job, you don’t carry any responsibility that only comes with this job. Someone else is going to take it, and someone else might be a better choice for this job anyway.
As you allow yourself to ponder on the possibility, at the same time, in the back of your mind, you know, how it will turn out, if you chose the so-called responsibility over love. You’ve identified Ore as your soul-mate. You just want to be with him. There’s so much love you have experienced.”
So in this parallel reality past life regression, Andrea not just pondered, he took the action.
Andrea went to tell the Captain that he couldn’t be his second in command anymore. The Captain was angry. Andrea felt scared. I encouraged him, “Inside you there’s something stronger than that anger. That is the love you feel. You can just tell the truth. The truth is you do not love his sister. It would not be good for his sister to marry you.”
“I just told him I had another plan for my life. I leave all my weapons there, and I just have to walk away. He’s not rational and I don’t need to convince him.”
The move surprised everyone. All the soldiers stared at him while Andrea left. Andrea didn’t care anymore.
As Andrea walked away, he felt lighter. And it surprised himself. He thought being a soldier was everything. But now he was not in that job anymore, he felt lighter.
Andrea went further to tell his family what he was going to do. Another surprise came to him as his siblings already knew that Andrea was in love with a man. The two siblings had a bet and one of them won. Andrea thought he had a secret, but it turned out he was the one who didn’t know the secret, that they all knew his secret. The rest of the family was okay with the news. Only dad was upset that Andrea quit the job, but he understood when Andrea told him the reason.
It’s interesting that sometimes we think we know our family, and then their understanding surprises us.
The family took it so lightly that Andrea started to ask why he didn’t tell them sooner.
Telling the truth is always an opportunity we give to our family members, a chance to be who they choose to be – kind in the case of Andrea.
Coming out of shell, Andrea and Ore went to the island, just in case, as the Captain was still mad at him. Andrea helped out with the family farm.
Ore’s father accepted Andrea right away, only the mother was a little harsh at the beginning. But Andrea felt free and happy being with Ore.
After a few years, Andrea felt homesick. He also wanted his family to meet Ore. He and Ore took a boat back, only to find the city becoming a ghost city, with some damage.
There was an attack, and the city had to be evacuated.
The house was still there. Some people had started to come back, but Andrea heard that his family had moved to a new place very far away. To make sure his family was safe, Andrea decided to go and search for them. There was no guarantee. Ore wanted to go with him.
A month-long journey followed. They finally found Andrea’s family in a small village town.
Andrea’s grandparents and father had died during the attack. His mother and siblings were there. They were very shocked when they saw Andrea. After the joyful reunion, Andrea and Ore found they actually had fun travelling and they discovered they liked the adventure so much that they continued on with travelling from there.
A life that was lived and stayed true, feeling complete and happy… I had Andrea’s awareness going back to the beach, joining the energy that was on the beach, a life full of exploration and discovery, stepping into the next step, following the heart. The depth and width of life open up for the experience.
An inner light forms inside as the joining happens. In the light, everything is seen clearly.
Tomoko said the energy of Ore is not there in this life of hers, yet.
Maybe the next love who shows up could be that soul-mate. Maybe not. Either way, Tomoko felt empowered. Coming back to the secret beach, all Tomoko felt was the openness and relief, with all the learning through the past-life regression.
Lay down the weapon and walk away.
Choosing to be vulnerable is choosing strength.
Tomoko re-emerged with the biggest smile on her face. “Oh my God. That was incredible!”