One day, my 13-and-half-year-old client asked me, “Why does one unwanted thought stick in my head for long? Other good thoughts don’t?”
I found that a very genuine authentic observation, actually a very wise question. I had to think for a moment before I answered him that the unreal thoughts have to be louder and stickier, to work harder to appear it’s real. What is real doesn’t have to be loud, because it is already real – that we hear it or not doesn’t change its reality.
While the boy was pondering on this, I gave him the example of newspaper front pages. In the midst of coronavirus, many people who contracted the virus are recovered, but the news was quiet. The louder news was always about how many more people, countries, and regions were affected. There is nothing wrong with it. I’m not here to judge or make a point, “Just to answer your question.” I told my young client.
Wellbeing abounds. For eons of time, humanity has been going through a sort of backward of existence. While we think about and analyze an existing situation, we forget about creating. We make a life or a career out of pushing against something. My young client’s question helped my own mind in thinking that “one sticky unwanted thought” is actually the formation of ego. Everything we give enough attention to can take a life on its own. Ego is born out of that attention to that one negative thought. It has to be loud and sticky because it is not real.
That one unwanted thought doesn’t want to be left alone. If so, it’ll die. It’ll continue to pretend it’s us, until we start to ask genuine questions, like my young client’s. Those questions help us awaken to our truth.
Another day, I received a text message from another regular client of mine. She said, “I feel like I’m going through a spiritual awakening. I’ve been doing some research on it and it really resonates with me. Essentially, I feel like a part of me is ‘dying’ and my true self is coming through. But it feels like a lonely process and I’m kinda scared.”
When I read messages like that, I feel glad that my clients reached out. Awakening, sounds very smooth easy and clear, but it can come with a lot of confusion, such as reality confusion; and it can come with certain emotions, such as being scared, because it involves letting go – letting go of old habits, patterns, stories, beliefs… Sometimes even more serious, or scarier, letting go of old relationships. There may be a loss of interest to socialize, or even there’s a loss of personal identity.
I congratulated my client, and said chaotic the process may look like, awakening is what the humanity is going through. It is necessary, because it is time, for us individuals to decide what it is we’d like to have in our head, rather than anything that others put in our head, or anything unwanted.
Awakening is a process. It may not be a pretty or pleasant process. But after that process, for many of us living here on planet Earth today, our true journey begins.
So I assured my client who sent me the message, “Your ‘true self’ is never what you think she is, so the only way is to let her come through, even though it means death to that part of you. But nothing feels better than being your true self.”
For me, I would not trade anything for the life that my true self is living.